by Ritika Rao
A terrible, unimaginable, and unsatisfying sensation surfaced as my heart began to dissolve into its own speeding beats. The realization was quick to acknowledge but took infinitely long to sink in. I thought I was void of all emotions. I was naïve to smugly assume that these endless conversations about anything and everything would not prick a hole in my safely submerged haven of emotion.
Isn’t love supposed to bring one pleasure? An idea, which should typically undertake a position of joy, had disguised itself as an ambush. These butterflies weren’t pleasantly fluttering around – they were trying to escape.
The moment I assumed I had control of every inch of myself, the death trap of irrepressible feelings broke loose. The sinkhole was perpetually growing as I fell deeper into the darkness, blinded by what I thought was love.