#Pitzer Problems Resolved #2

Dear Pitzer Problems,

I have a Halloween dilemma. I really want to dress up as Pocahontas for Halloween, because she is totally my favorite Disney Princess, but I’m afraid I might offend people. I recently learned in my intro to sociocultural anthropology class that Disney changed the Pocahontas story a lot and that it wasn’t really a fairy tale but more like a colonial nightmare! My problem is I already bought the costume and don’t think I can return it. What should I do!
Sincerely,
Costume-less
Dear Costume-less,
Learning that not all Disney stories are accurate is the second saddest thing to learning there’s no Santa Claus. But, just because they aren’t true doesn’t mean they’re not fun. I totally still think you should dress up as Pocahontas, but add a historical spin. If you are close to your anthropology teacher consult her about your costume and ask for some suggestions as to how you can be your favorite Disney Princess, without offending any other students. Worst case scenario, hope everyone is too drunk to remember history lessons or dress really slutty so they’re too busy staring at your body to notice your costume!
Sincerely,
Pitzer Problems
 
Dear Pitzer Problems,
There’s a total babe in my intro to sociocultural anthropology class.  I wanna do her like I do my anthro homework– hard and on the table… but I don’t know how to approach her in a casual manner.
Sincerely,
Freak in the Sheets
Dear Freak in the Sheets,
Sexually comparing your classroom crush to your homework might cum off a little hard if you know what I mean…  Instead, approach her in a more subtle way.  Start with asking her to study, or to borrow her notes.  See how she reacts and then go from there.  I have no doubt you will have the balls to pull this off.
Sincerely,
Pitzer Problems
 
Dear Pitzer Problems,
I walked in on my roommate and her boyfriend and saw a full frontal view of her man.  Whenever I see him in the dining hall, on campus and in the room, I can’t help but think of his shlong.  It’s super awkward and I don’t know what to do.
Sincerely,
See no evil
Dear See no evil,
The good news is that he is probably more embarrassed than you.  As the incredibly over-used phrase suggests: “keep calm and carry on”.  The cooler you are, the less awkward the situation will be.  Just try not to blush when you see him 😉
Sincerely,
Pitzer Problems

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